It Pains Me To Say This

By now, I think you know that I’m a planner. I live by the calendar in my phone and by my school scheduler. I like my life to be organized because honestly, uncertainty is my worst nightmare. When I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, I get uneasy. I guess you could say that little voice in the back of my head and the butterflies in my stomach are my ultimate downfall. There’s nothing wrong with being a planner. Actually, it’s probably something that would reduce stress in many peoples’ lives. But as much as it pains me to say this, I’m beginning to learn there are a lot of things that I can’t plan for.

Over the past few months, I’ve been dealing with some private health issues that have had my perfect schedule all out of wack. I’ve been inundated with random and sudden doctor appointments, and I’ve left almost every single one with more uncertainty than I had when I walked in. This was especially true on Monday. I left his office confused, annoyed, and disappointed. He told me to wait a month just to “see what happens”. Sorry, but that’s not what I needed to hear with what I’m going through.

As I continued to boil over with frustration, I realized that life is not always going to go how I want it to go. On top of that, there are things that are outside of my control. There are certain things that demand uncertainty and patience. Right now, I can’t control what the doctors tell me to do, whether I agree with it or not. So, I can either choose to sit around and worry or it day by day.

Needless to say, there’s no sense in worrying about things outside of my control. There’s no sense in planning for an uncertain future. I’m better off focusing on what I can control like my emotions and view of the world.

Simply changing the way I look at situations has had a profound effect on my mood. Instead of getting frustrated after seeing specialist after specialist, I’ve decided to view each doctor visit as one step closer to figuring out what’s wrong.

I think this is applicable to so many areas of life. Instead of viewing everything on your to-do list as annoying things that need to get done, try to look at them as a chance to do something. For example, I really needed to clean my apartment last weekend. I had been putting it off, and I finally had time to do it on Friday. Instead of looking at it as an annoying task that I had to do on a Friday night, I decided to view it as a moment to put in my headphones and listen to some music while I did chores.

Here are some more examples that might be more applicable to you…

  • Don’t think of having to drive your child to band practice as a chore. Look at it as 15-20 minutes you get to spend with your child alone in a car without the distractions of homework, TV, or social media.
  • If you’re a college student that has to go volunteer or go to research, try looking at it as a few hours where you get to take a break from homework.
  • Don’t look at exercise as a task to be done. Look at it as a chance to live longer and spend more time with your family. The same goes for diets.

In the end, life is all about perspective because the world is what you make it. As Mark Cuban would put it…

“Doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. All that matters is that you’re the one pouring the water.”

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