I’m a Recovering…

Hi everyone! It’s been a minute since we last spoke. I can’t believe how fast the past couple weeks have gone, but I’m happy to announce that I’m through the worst part of the semester. I managed to make it out with only a few cuts and bruises, and I’m pretty proud of that! A lot has happened since my last post, which is why today I wanted to give you a quick life update.

Where to begin…

I had a reality check in the middle of October. To be completely honest, I had a little bit of a meltdown. It’s hard to manage 400 things at once and go through some life changing experiences all at the same time. But hitting rock bottom helped me realize how thin I tend to spread myself. I say “yes” to so many things without thinking about the repercussions it has on me…IBS flareups, sleepless nights, lack of family/friend time, deviations from faith, etc. In short, my responsibilities outweigh my resources. If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, you know how difficult it is to carry on day to day when your gas tank is on empty. So, I made the decision to cut down on my responsibilities and add to my resources…

I swallowed my pride and started attending stress management counseling. It was difficult for me to accept that I can’t do everything all the time. It was hard for me to realize that I need to pick and choose my passions to prevent myself from getting burnt out again. Most importantly, it was hard for me to realize that I can’t be perfect and that I’m never going to be good enough in society’s eyes…

But the moment I accepted that, I felt a massive weight lift off my shoulders. The moment I accepted that I’m a recovering perfectionist was the moment I began taking my life back.

As I’ve begun climbing out of the hole I dug for myself these past few years, I’ve felt like a new person. I feel like I’m finally beginning to have control over my life and accept that it’s really not that serious. If I falter once in a while, that’s okay. I’m not perfect. No one is, and no one ever will be.

Amidst all of this, I traveled to Ann Arbor, Michigan to tour my dream graduate school…the University of Michigan. If I had to sum up that trip in two words, it would be…Go Blue!

And guess what? After all of the struggles you all have seen me go through regarding my future career, I’ve landed exactly where I started…on the path to become a registered dietitian. I wish I could describe the happiness I felt sitting in a room with people who love nutrition as much as I do. To be completely honest, I was on the verge of tears. I’ve spent the last 3.5 years at a university that I love, but I never really felt like I fit in. I never really found anyone that shared my passions…but at UM, I finally felt like I belonged. In fact, I vividly remember texting my mom in the middle of the day saying “I’m home.”

I’m actually getting a little emotional thinking about how happy I was in that moment…and to tell you the truth, the past week is the happiest I’ve felt in a really long time. I feel like a completely different person. I’ve started going with the flow, taking more time for myself, and really just loving who I am. I’m going to Lightning games in the middle of the week, taking time for myself, and giving more time to God. Maybe I’m able to do this because I finally accepted that my heart has always been in dietetics and I’m finally going to be doing something I love? Maybe it’s because everything is finally falling into place?  Who knows?

But what I do know is that I’m happy to be here. Everything I’ve gone through in my life has led me to this moment…and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful that God is working magic in my life. I’m grateful for the support I’ve had over the years. I’m grateful for my parents’ love and the encouragement of my best friend. I’m grateful for life and the chance to make a difference in the world.

It’s hard to see where God is working in your life during the difficult times. It’s in times like these that we start to question our faith, but now that I’ve made it through, I can tell you that He was working in those moments. Over the past 3.5 years, He was there every step of the way. Although I’m starting on the original path I had begun 2 years ago, I’m doing it with a unique perspective. Not many other dietitians are going to have the interdisciplinary understanding that I have. Not many are going to understand the psychological and social reasons for their client’s behavior like I will. In the journey to find who I am and uncover my next steps, God made me a more rounded person…and I’m grateful for that. All the struggles were worth it because I stand here today a unique person.

Maybe you’re going through a tough time and questioning where God is. Know that He is there. He’s in the little things. He’s watching over you. Everything that you’re going through has a reason behind it. Just because you can’t see it now doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It’s like the song goes…

“What if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?” ~ Laura Story

These past two weeks have been some of the best I’ve ever had, and I know it’s only going to get better from here. I’m excited to be going home this coming weekend and for the holidays to be right around the corner. I’m ready for some family time. I ready to keep working on myself and to take in the breeze.

I’m also ready for this fall weather. So with that, I’m off for a morning walk to embrace the cool temperatures 🙂

I’m not sure how often I’ll be posting this month, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let you know where I’m at. After all, something’s better than nothing 🙂

I hope you all enjoyed this post. Don’t forget to like, comment, and share. Don’t forget that you’re not perfect…no one is. Life isn’t that serious. Don’t let your responsibilities outweigh your resources. Most importantly, don’t forget that God will take care of you!

“I am more than my scars.” 
~ Andrew Davidson

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